Cocaine anyone?
Posted June 19th, 2006 by mrasor
Football
Sometimes you wonder what sportswriters are smoking. I'm sure you have thought that about me.
But Phil Steele must be puffing something unknown to mankind. This guy says Kent State will win the MAC East. In football.
Allow that to soak in. Kent F#$(%##* State University.
Steele, I'm going to break this down for you. You either…
- know nothing about MAC football
- made this prediction to fix Vegas odds on your side
- are on coke
- have some kind of future-telling ability, which would make Kent State the biggest surprise of the year in any sport.
June 19th, 2006 at 3:59 pm
Why you shouldn't waste $8.99 on Steele's annual like I stupidly have done for the past six years:
-In his Heisman prediction for this year, he talks about former USC QB Matt Leinart referring to him as Matt Leinhart. Ooof.
-Phil has five (5!) All-Mac teams. FIVE! Guess which Zips guard didn't make any of the teams even though everyone else considers him a second team All-MAC player, Andy Alleman.
-He calls Kent State "snake bit." Maybe I'm confused with some other crappy sports cliche, but "snake bit" teams don't give up 181 in their last 6 games.
-In his breakdown about the 2006 Zips running backs, it starts with "In 2000, Brandon Payne became the first Zip RB to top 1,000 rushing yards in 1A ball (Akron joined 1A in 1987)." My memory might be wrong, but I'm pretty sure he's copied and pasted those exact words for the past five years. He then goes on to talk about Bob Hendry and Brett Biggs' stats in 2004 before even bothering to mention Dennis Kennedy. Then he gives more recap of 2005. Thanks for the insight on 2006, Phil.
-In receivers he starts by talking about Miquel Irvin. In quarterbacks, Butchie Washington. In o-line, the 2003 team. Worst of all, in his overall forecast, he talks about Lee Owens. LEE OWENS!
There's a lot more embarassing stuff and an incredible amount of grammatical errors. It's awful.
Why have I bought this every year? So I can fill out the names in the NCAA Football video game.
June 19th, 2006 at 4:11 pm
Your honor, we rest our case.
June 19th, 2006 at 9:52 pm
Even people on coke know that Kent State couldn't beat a Pop Warner football team, let alone a team with players whose balls have dropped.
Maybe Phil Steele thinks that the National Guard will turn its attention on other MAC East team's star players. Hell even then Kent would lose by 40 with Tim Crouch's broken ass at QB.
Phil Steele, I am going to take you out of your missery with a chair shot to the head.