NBA Draft Lottery: The B-Ball Gods Said: HA!
Posted May 23rd, 2007 by George Thomas
If I were running the Memphis Grizzlies or Boston Celtics right now, I'd be working on trying to rid myself of a serious hangover. Usually when someone goes on a serious bender it starts innocently enough with a beer or three. A buddy meets you and you start to think you're twentysomething and in college once again, so shots get added to the mix. Finally, complete and utter stupidity sets in and Jager Bombs began to get tossed down the gullet.
For the Grizzlies and Celtics, last night was a go-straight-to-the-151-rum kinda night because their dreams of getting one of two prized picks - Ohio State center Greg Oden or University of Texas' Kevin Durant - morphed into one of those nightmares remembered for a lifetime.
Memphis and Boston finished with the worst records in basketball, respectively, so they figured that when it came to the league's annual ping pong derby last night that there was little way that they could lose. HA! There won't be any New York Knicks-Patrick Ewing-bent-corner-conspiracies this year. The Portland Trail Blazers and the Seattle Supersonics will select one and two next month.
Perhaps it was the Hoops gods looking down on Memphis and Boston and chastising them for allegedly tanking games at the end of the season just so they could be in the prime position to win the lottery. And before anyone utters the words: "the Cavaliers did the same thing four years ago" I will only say the Cavs sucked for so long that they were due for some sort of good luck. Almost 40 years and no championship? Something had to be happen. Think of it as Al Pacino finally getting the Oscar for A Scent of a Woman that he deserved for any number of prior roles.
But this year Memphis and Boston were shameless. The Grizzlies locked up the worst record in the league and then proceeded to play great basketball the last week of the season against playoff teams. As for the Celtics? Wasn't that Danny Ainge salivating over Durant in the stands during March Madness?
If anything it puts to rest the notion that such things are fixed. Oh wait, given the Sonics threat to leave Seattle next year unless a new facility is built, that does look a little suspicious now, doesn't it? Somebody put Mulder and Scully on the case, please.
May 23rd, 2007 at 10:14 am
George, it doesn't put to rest the notion that the Ewing lottery was fixed. Which is what everybody suspects. And if James heads to New York in 2010, it will only further strengthen the conspiracy theorists arguments as to 1985. Not that anybody needs James in New York to further strengthen their 1985 argument. I don't have an opinion, but that 1985 lottery still has a fishy smell.
I'm actually pretty interested in what Seattle's new owner will now do. Seemed like they were eventually headed to Oklahoma City, but now what? Will the taxpayers now be stupid enough to build another jillionaire an arena with a totally insane Gund-like sweetheart lease? Will giddy civic pride over a franchise player supersede good sense?
May 23rd, 2007 at 11:38 am
What's your opinion regarding Seattle, George? If you were an average yutz living in Seattle, is Kevin Durant worth agreeing to pay a ton of extra tax money to permit a wealthy corporate business entity to wallow in the public trough? Should average people, many of whom don't give a damn about basketball, be compelled to feather yet another Gund-Jacobs nest?
If average people knew the real story behind the arena, Gateway and Gund's other shenanigans, I'd be looking on YouTube to watch clips of Clevelanders armed with flaming torches driving to Jersey and forcing their way into his mansion like they did in the Frankenstein movie.
May 23rd, 2007 at 1:45 pm
Tread lightly regarding what you know about what went on behind the scenes at Gateway, Alan. I worked there during the lease negotiating period.
May 23rd, 2007 at 3:22 pm
George, in that case, why don't you pen a tome entitled, "Field of Schemes?" Branch out and spread your wings, like a young Terry Pluto.
May 23rd, 2007 at 4:10 pm
Well Alan, you seem to have the inside information. I gladly give you the opportunity to pen what will undoubtedly be a bestseller.
May 23rd, 2007 at 4:33 pm
A bestseller? Nah. Only if I use writer's embellishment. For example, like that recent Blender.com piece, where John Mellencamp claimed he smoked weed with McHale and Bird. Gund was there, too, but he smoked it purely for medicinal purposes to help his vision.
May 25th, 2007 at 10:07 am
Just finished reading your column about the series being on basic cable…holy cow, what a whiner that DeFelice guy is.
Gosh, what a shame, he doesn't want to go to a sports bar to expose his TEENAGE son (older than
to rowdy behavior. Well, golly, I guess this means he won't be taking his son to a Browns game until the kid is 50 and able to cope. Thank God his daughter isn't allowed to date until she's 65, or else we'd be calling her a tramp.
Tell your caller the next time he wants to watch professional basketball, then a true bonding experience with his teenage son at a sports "bar" (never mind the fact that even family restaurants have cable TV) sure beats the hell out of watching the Celtics battle the Suns in a triple-overtime game WITHOUT ANY LOCAL TV COVERAGE WHATSOEVER! Or Moses Malone taking it to Bird, McHale and Parish in a CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES…ON TAPE-DELAY!
For Christ's sakes, if it wasn't such an absolutely gorgeous totally clear sunny day on that Saturday afternoon, I would have never been able to play with the rabbit ears and catch the game on a Toledo TV station and watch the greatest game I've ever seen, bar none…BECAUSE NO CLEVELAND TV STATION EVEN CARRIED IT! NOT EVEN TNT!!!
You should have told your caller to grow up and drag himself into 2007. I wish time would stand still, too, but it ain't gonna happen.
May 25th, 2007 at 10:13 am
Excuse me whilst I get myself off the floor from the laughter, Alan.
You miss the point entirely. Quite frankly, the guy is right. All post season games should be available in the local team's market over the air. It just makes common sense. Instead the NBA and MLB will continue to alienate fans.
As for coming into the 21st century, there is a practical reason he doesn't want cable in his home that has a lot to do with how he chooses to rear his children. As a parent, I understand that feeling.
May 25th, 2007 at 10:56 am
George, I hope you're not home alone, because I highly suspect you don't have a paid subscription to that, "I'VE FALLEN AND I CAN'T GET UP!" outfit.
Yes, the NBA and MLB will continue to alienate fans. And will continue to make a mint while alienating them.
As for that guy's (and your) "practical" reason, I suppose there was also a "practical" reason that Elvis what shot only from the waist up.
Come on, caterpillars are going to have to turn into butterflies sometime. Remember the crap you pulled once upon a time? The apples don't fall far from the tree. Better strap on your seat and shoulder belts now. Even shielding them from the naughty language at Damon's won't save you or that guy from the inevitable.
And besides, what's more perverted, a guy drinking a Bud at Damon's and saying "DRATS," or Danny Ferry paying Larry Hughes $13 million a year to be a sexy neck tattoo model?
May 25th, 2007 at 8:05 pm
Hey, what's the deal? I just now noticed that you're editing posts???? For what, may I ask?