My daughters Janie and Elizabeth make a habit of finding much more interesting stuff on the web than me. Yes, it's all rated PG or G. Technically, this should mean that Alan's Imposter would enjoy a blog written by them more than me. Alas, I digress.
They discovered a web site called mylifeisaverage.com.
People go to the site and post quirky, interesting stories that happened to them that day.
They're very intriguing.
Like this one:
"Today, I stopped at a stop sign. I was the only person at the 4-way intersection. I sat there for a few minutes before I realized that stop signs don't turn green. MLIA."
I suggest you check it out.
Since I enjoy this site so much, could this mean MLINEA?
(First one to guess it wins a personal kitchen cleaning from Alan and Alan's imposter.)
{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
I fear that those two would not work well together, and, in the process, end up having a food fight in the winner's kitchen. Now we're back to square one, or square -12, for that matter. Pat, please think things through before you start awarding prizes.
Pat, would like your comments on this piece by Ross Tucker, SI.com:
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2009/writers/ross_tucker/11/11/trends/index.html?eref=sihp
I take it that the acronym means "My life is not even average." Instead of the kitchen, can I have them clean the basement room where we keep the cat boxes? (Assuming you have liability coverage, of course.)
ross tucker is a complete and utter fool. another one of those "what did you expect" people. what did most browns fans expect? not regression into the worst football team most of us have seen in our lives. we sure didn't expect that. we didn't expect mangini to buy high and sell low in trades. look at anderson's value now compared to the offseason? you couldn't get the droppings in geoff's cat box for him today. we didn't expect mangini to repeatedly look like a fool when decided which qb to start. we didn't expect mangini to pass on stud linebackers and draft questionable receivers in the second round. we didn't expect the team to take on every reject jet under the sun. we didn't expect to be the laughing stock of the nfl when the new g.m., respected around the league was fired and the joke of a coach was kept around to taunt us all with his stubborn stupidity.
ross tucker, quit stealing my air!
I agree with the general point of the column. I hate "horse race" journalism– where people write about what they think might happen, as opposed to what is happening or why it is happening or what should happen.
It's an excuse for lazy writing about a non-story– and because the writer can hide behind the excuse that he was "just reporting where the team might be heading", you can't even critique the piece by pointing out that only 2 of the 6 guys he fput on the hot seat actually got fired. It's a complete waste of time.
Also, assuming that a team's record after three, five or eight games is going to resemble their record after 16 is really stupid. Schedule strength is not evenly distributed, and it's quite possible that a team can get off to a slow (or hot) start against extremely strong/weak teams and then have matters correct themselves.
As for what people should expect, that's easy. If we're using the "Cleveland = New England" math, Bill Belichick took over an 8-8 team and went 5-11 with it– he lost three more games in year one of the rebuilding process.
The Mangenius took over a team that went 4-12, so if we subtract three wins from them as part of the "rebuilding", the we should expect the Browns to go 1-15. Since they have already won one game, they have already met expectations.
If they win any of the remaining eight, they are ahead of schedule, and the Mangenius deserves a contract extension (nothing extravagant– four years and $20 million will be fine). Thank you for visiting Rummy Lerner's Clown College and please come again.
Sunday I sat in front of the TV. I was comfortably on my couch. I sat there spellbound for several hours watching the the browns not move the ball up and down the field before I realized the cable was out.
Or was it?
MLIA. Or is that a Twilight Zone episode?
Mangini Loses In Nearly Every Attempt?
McManamon Loves Irelands Never Ending Ales?
That site is "Curb Your Enthusiasm" without the language and the lunacy.
Which reminds me, did you hear that "Curb Your Enthusiasm" will be going into syndication, first on the TV Guide Channel and then on Nick at Nite? Talk about a TV show being utterly spayed and neutered beyond recognition. A hamster will be more hung. First syndication completely ruins "The Sopranos," and now they're going to turn "Curb Your Enthusiasm" into "I Love Lucy." There should be a law. It's beyond unconscionable.
I would like to award the cleaning services of the Alans to Brian for his creativity, but in reality the winner is Geoff. I communicate with Alan, Joyce, Alan the Imposter and Clay Matthews School for Laterals on a daily basis. My life is not even average.
I'll agree to clean their kitchens only if they agree to clean my house. Believe me, I win.
Geoff, my condolences on your victory.
My Loss Is Not Encountering Alan?
Friday the 13th….you ain't so bad afterall!