First and 10: How not to play a preseason game

First and 10 with the Browns –

1) Exhibition games aren’t really about results. The fact that the Browns cut a Giant deficit to a 37-34 final doesn’t really matter. These games are about impressions, approach and, for those trying to make the team, the chance to play. The Browns made a terrible impression in their second game. It was a real clunker. One team looked like a Super Bowl team, a champion, a group of professionals. The Browns looked a team of wanna-bes that did not bring a mature approach to the game. They looked, perhaps, like a team that has been given 12 prime-time games despite making the playoffs once since 1999. To me, this approach revealed itself before the game when the Browns talked about how nice it would be to be in New York and playing on Monday night. For crying out loud, it’s a preseason game. I realize the Browns may have been asked the question about going to New York to play in primetime, but it would have been OK for them to say, “Well gee it’s just a preseason game. I don’t care where it is. I do care how we play.” Instead they talked about being in the spotlight and all that kind of stuff. The immature approach then showed in silly penalties and a punch thrown (and missed). It showed in tackling a guy before a punt even got close to him and in almost 100 yards in penalties in the first quarter. Brutal.

2) I’ve been saying for a long time that Joe Jurevicius’ injury ruins the team’s receiving depth. That if Braylon Edwards ever were injured it would mean trouble. Guess what. Edwards didn’t play Monday night, and the offense looked lost. There was no flow, no timing, nothing close to precision. It’s not going to take the other teams long to recognize this fact and pretty much take Edwards away and dare another receiver – like Kellen Winslow, who was pretty much AWOL in this game — to beat them. The offense looked lost without Edwards.

3) How in the world does a team get almost 100 yards in penalties in one quarter? That’s mind-boggling. Same way, I guess, that a team gets a punt blocked by a guy trying to block for the punt, and same way a team allows a punt return for a touchdown following that blocked punt that led to a safety, and the same way a guy fumbles a handoff inside the 5-yard-line to give the Giants a length-of-the-field touchdown run. Double brutal.

4) If this game was any indication, the gulf between a true playoff team and a team that wants to be a playoff team is Grand Canyonesque.

5) Nice to see Domenik Jerry Rice Hixon get some preseason playing time. Hixon is from Akron, and he was better than any Browns receiver on the field.

6) I’m thinking if Terrell Owens was watching Hixon abuse the Browns secondary he was giggling to himself quite a bit about what he might do in the season opener.

7) The Browns pulled out brown pants for the trip to New Jersey. I think it’s time to put them away. The Browns looked like a high school team. Then they played like one.

It's kind of irritating, but here on the log every time I type the "8" for item "8" it comes up with that stupid face. … Memo to self: Write corporate about THAT one. … Brodney Pool’s concussion is a bit scary, given their cumulative effects. Pool has missed time in his career with concussions. … Anyone notice Charlie Frye threw for 209 yards in Seattle? … He also had three interceptions and no touchdowns. … Nice of Eric Wright to style the way he did on that short touchdown gift. … Cripes, the team was getting its you-know-what kicked and he pranced into the end zone, then styled after. … Wright had a brutal game – as Rice-Hixon took advantage of him. … The Browns first-team offensive line was beat pretty regularly by the Giants starters and backups. Not good. … Good to see Phil Dawson kick a 56-yard field goal. The Browns have one of the league’s elite kickers. … Who’d have thought Syndric Steptoe would be this preseason’s “Guy Who Blooms From Nowhere.” … I believe there was a Melila Purcell sighting. … Why in the world do people say that Brady Quinn is from Cleveland? Dublin, Ohio, is as much a part of Cleveland as Dublin, Ireland, is.

9) At this writing, which is 12:58 a.m. on Tuesday morning while some divers go inward-three-and-a-half and over-rotate (don’t you hate when that happens?) and do not allow their feet to separate, nobody really knows much about Derek Anderson’s concussion, except that any time there’s a concussion it’s a bit scary. There’s no telling how long these kinds of things can linger. Brady Quinn will get the chance for more playing time, but I don’t think there’s anyone in Berea who would feel good about Quinn taking the snaps in the season opener against Dallas.

10) I’ve told this story before, but I’m going to tell it again — games like Monday night always remind me of the time Joe Greene was an assistant coach with the Miami Dolphins. Greene, the former Steeler, was talking about how bad the Dolphins were in a blowout loss to Atlanta. So I asked: Well does it matter? It was only preseason. And Green flashed some very angry eyes my way. And he said in a very testy voice: “Of course it matters.” Why, I asked? “Because the guys who accept losing in the preseason are the same guys who accept losing in the regular season.” I then offered Mr. Greene a Coke and slinked my way toward the exit, but I’ve never forgotten what he said. “The guys who accept losing in the preseason are the same guys who accept losing in the regular season.”

Three and Out

First, I must point out that many of you were unhappy that First and 10 will no longer be e-mailed and will instead be placed on the blog. I’m not big on changing something that has been successful, but there are financial and other considerations for the decision of the corporate folks to make this a frog item. What can I do? Boycott writing the clog? From here on, First and 10 will be on the dog, and I really hope that it won’t be too difficult for everyone to find. Of course, if you are reading this you already found it. Which makes me like the priest at church whose sermon is about people not attending church. Get it? He’s lecturing those at church about people who do not go to church.

On to the letters …

Dear Pat,

Your Akron Beacon Journal columns on Edwards and Manny (note the insipid self-promotion with the links …) were published in the San Francisco Chronicle this week. Has this made you more famous? Have you gotten e-mails calling you an idiot from West Coast folks who couldn't name one player on the Browns? And, finally, what are the chances of the Browns playing in the Super Bowl in my lifetime? (I turn 61 next week)

Craig Weatherington
Santa Cruz, Calif.

Dear Craig,

Perhaps I should point out that you live in one of the most fabulously pretty areas of this nation, and you have yet to invite me over for a Sierra Nevada. I’m glad the Chronicle printed those stories, but given the rising price of newsprint I’m surprised they used the space. Someone must have been sick.

Craig also refers to one of our favorite features in First and 10, one I am more than willing to revive. It was called “You’re an Idiot” and it featured the most genuinely nasty e-mail I could find that called me an idiot – usually for having a meaningless opinion.

This comment from BMK in Palo Alto, Calif., about my Sunday story in the Beacon Journal discussing the Cavs' acquisition of Mo Williams would certainly qualify — if, that is, it were a letter to First and 10:

"You are without a doubt the worst writer — and most vacuous journalist — that I have ever come across."

Notice the subtlety. He never actually used the word idiot, but the point certainly came across. And he also used the word "vacuous." Any insult letter or comment with the word "vacuous" is certainly worthy of special consideration.

We’ll see how the letters go in preseason and perhaps begin “You’re an Idiot” during the season.

As for the Super Bowl question, stop asking me mathematical questions dealing with the quadratic equation. It’s confusing.

(From the online comments)
Dear Pat,

While we are lambasting John Edwards and President Clinton (for their extramarital affairs), let's not forget John McCain who had an affair while his first wife was in the hospital in critical condition from a car wreck. My how most forget this. Personally none of that is my business. That being said if you are going to smear, you must smear all or none. Distractions such as this to raise the moral outrage of those who like to be pandered to is merely par for the course.

Patrick, you don't like to be pandered to do you?

Eric Lowrey

Dear Eric,

Who likes being pandered to? Verbal insults that demean character are just not right. Dadgum it!

What? That’s not pandered? That’s slandered? OK then.

Never mind.

As to your letter, as I write early in the morning on Tuesday someone on TV is talking about a diver going past vertical. Would that also apply to John McCain, Edwards and Clinton? They went past vertical? Or would it be more appropriate when that same commentator mentioned a diver having trouble with his bottoms? Might that apply better to these politicians – they simply had trouble with their bottoms?

I shall stop.

You raise a good point about considering McCain along with Edwards.

I’d also nominate Newt Gingrich for the Philandering Hall of Hypocrisy.

Dear Pat,

I’m really going to miss the e-mails. I honestly don't know how often I'll go to a blog, but we'll see. RSS? Doohickey (Note from Pat: I refer to an RSS feed button as a “doohickey.” It’s a more technically correct term)? Stop it! You're overloading my head with this technical jargon! You teckie nerds are all alike.

OK so actually I'd already accessed the blog, without the orange doohickey. I just saved the URL into my favorites. I just doubt I'll recall frequently to access it. Whenever I do, I'll share the good news with all your legions of readers in Coshocton and surrounding metropolises.

What's the preoccupation with Adriana Lima? You remind me of a friend, living locally here but originally from Akron, who claims a close personal relationship with Akron supermodel Angie Everhart.

Glenn Mishler
Coshocton, Ohio

Dear Glenn,

Glenn was a loyal First and 10 reader and letter writer.

He’s a nice guy, but kind of confused and bit daffy.

Otherwise he’d never need to ask what he did about Ms. Lima.

If you have a comment or question you’d like addressed next week, e-mail me at pmcmanamon@thebeaconjournal.com, and put First and 10 in the subject line.

Until the next politician goes past vertical …

Best,
Pat