Out of my league
Posted February 17th, 2007 by Brian Windhorst
Vegas — Let me start with this: I haven’t seen so many skintight, short pieces of clothing since I was forced to cover two days of the state wrestling tournament as a newbie sportswriter.
This is only the start of the All-Star Weekend here and it is already living up to its billing. Overcrowded, over-hyped and overpriced. Which is the American way of saying a great time, I guess. The casinos are jammed, wall-to-wall people in some areas. You can’t get a cab to save your life but the city planners did smartly install a huge new parking lot to handle all the traffic. It is called Las Vegas Blvd.
There are parties going on everywhere. There must be dozens of them and most have an All-Star’s or other player’s name attached. LeBron James has like three going on at once, Dwyane Wade had one Thursday night where there was apparently a fight between a rap star’s posse and security guards. Shaq has one, Allen Iverson, and so on and and so on. From what I can tell, you have to pay between $100-$300 to to be seen, get your ears blown out and wave to the NBA guy when he decides to walk through for 15 minutes. No wonder these players love the All-Star Game here, it’s a license to print money.
But there’s no shortage of takers and no shortage of fakers. The people watching here is unreal. Women by the gross are walking gingerly all over the Strip. Wearing skirts and jeans two sizes too small and four-inch heels, they have no choice. The guys are all wearing sunglasses and sparkly stuff and trying to run game.
Then there’s the general freak show. Some very interesting fashion decisions being made. I even saw an Elvis impersonator who was a dead ringer for Roy Orbision. And folks, I’ve only been here for one night.
The tables are full and the stakes up. If you wanted to roll dice at the mid-Strip casinos around midnight Friday, it was going to be a minimum of $100. A hand of blackjack? $50 if you were lucky. Those were at the riff raff tables, too. The casinos are going to have a big weekend. Over at Wynn and The Palms, where the players are staying, the 1k and 5k chips are flowing like nickels and dimes.
What a scene. And it’s only going to get more crazy over the next couple of days. Basketball? I’m sorry, no one can be bothered with it right now.
February 17th, 2007 at 4:30 am
I just finished your first paragraph, but I had to leave for work before I could finish. Based upon what I just read, I can only assume the next few paragraphs include a story involving Paris Hilton, Britney Spears’ exposed vagina, John Amaechi, the cowboy in the Village People and three of the Cavs’ ballboys.
I don’t think I’ll have an opportunity to see it, but I hope Damon Jones gets creamed. No John Amaechi joke here, just a strong desire to see Damon Jones’ massive ego mashed like a filthy potato while Ferry is doing his darndest to get rid of him before the deadline.
February 17th, 2007 at 7:40 am
Dude, it sounds like you are having a sweet time. Too much money, too many people, wall to wall traffic. I’m jealous.
Hope LeBron finds time between all his parties to get some rest. We are going to need the LBJ we saw in LA, not the on ewe saw in Charlotte early in the year…
http://www.fearthesword.com
February 17th, 2007 at 8:24 am
I hope that LeBron takes Damon Jones with him to Brooklyn. I hate the world.
Love,
Alan Tucker
February 17th, 2007 at 8:43 am
Sounds like the freakers ball. Now BW
behave yourself or reverend Pluto will
have you in confession when you get back
to Cleveland. Oh is he there with Charley
by the way? If Lebron beats Dwade in the
skills tonight his posse better be bigger
and badder. Maybe Hardaway will jump in
and defend Amaechi when Bavetta smokes
Sir Charles and Amaechi protests.
Only in Vegas. Go on Damon drain the rack,
put up or shut up.
February 17th, 2007 at 10:40 am
Please post some photos of some of the “eye candy” you have seen. Come, on this blog needs something to ungay it from all the Allen Tucker mumbo jumho.
February 17th, 2007 at 1:22 pm
And now competing in the 3 point shootout
from the Cleveland Cavaliers:
Scott “Chickenhawk” Pollard
And from the Houston Rockets
Dikembe “Deke” Mutombo
From the Miami Heat
Shaquille “The BIG Aristotle” O’ Neal
Featuring a shatterproof backboard
and a brick rim.
Eat your heart out Damon.
February 17th, 2007 at 2:18 pm
Jones’ agent should get applause for being able to weasel him into the contest. It’s certainly not because Jones qualified. 35th in the league in 3-point percentage, not to mention the very worst 2-point field goal percentage of those 35.
I hope he gets clobbered. If he wins, people will never hear the end of it. But if he loses, it will have been the result of “flu-like symptoms.”
February 18th, 2007 at 12:32 am
Does anyone in here even ROOT for the Cavs?
February 18th, 2007 at 6:19 am
Everyone needs to ignore Alan Tucker. Why the hell does this guy bother posting here. THe guy seems to have an IQ of like 50.
Anybody who thinks DJ was totally serious about claiming he’s the worlds greatest shooter needs to realize that DJ is a well-liked and funny guy. He was not taking this serious and just wanted to participate because he likes the spotlight. He does not think he is the greatest shooter in the world.
Lebron is too BIG to participate in that skills challenge. He needs to be in the dunk contest…he would win easily. Probably afraid he’ll get hurt though. I thought Nate Robinson was going to snap one of his legs.
Prediction… Lebron will be MVP of tonights game… he has something to prove to the haters like that shmuck Alan Tfucker.
February 18th, 2007 at 8:38 am
Okay, I’ve been begging ALL year and most of last year to get Hughes out of here. NOW, finally we may be able to do just that.
Washington is probably the only team that would want him, with Haywood and Thomas ready to kill each other here’s what both teams should do.
Cavs send Hughes and Pollard to Washington for Daniels, Thomas & Hayes!
We get a SG/PG (Daniels) who can handle the ball for James and allow Gibson to be a SG, plus a shot blocker who can play either the 4/5 spot off the bench. Washington re-unites Hughes with Arenas as well as Jamison & Butler and gets Thomas out of their House.
(NOTE: I’d hate to play them)
Go ahead. . . Shoot the holes in this trade!
February 18th, 2007 at 9:33 am
JoeHoops, you have a fatal case of kj disease. Why you make this blog about me, I have no idea.
If people honestly believe Jones wasn’t taking it seriously, let alone Jones doesn’t have a massive delusional ego a billion times greater than his actual talent, then I guess Jones was taking extra shooting practice after games just for yucks, and that he’s been bitching under his breath to reporters for a lot more playing time because he genuinely deserves it.
A professional that is being paid extremely well to do his job should put in extra practice and practice and practice and practice regardless if there is a contest. Ferry really, really sucked as a player, but I do admire him for that.
Here’s hoping Ferry finds a sucker by the deadline. Good riddance to bad rubbish.
February 18th, 2007 at 10:36 am
Alan Tuckker, you ignorant slut. You are just plain dumb. EVERY SINGLE NBA PLAYER HAS A BIG EGO! You have to have one in order to make it in the NBA. You might also call it confidence. But I don’t think DJ thinks he is the greatest shooter…hell, he doesn’t even start and he is not one of the better 3 pt shooters in the league, and he knows that. That is what he is known for though, so he wanted to compete. I can’t blame him.
Get off your high horse, OK. I think you are just jealous because you couldn’t even start in a kindergarden B ball league.
February 18th, 2007 at 12:57 pm
Reading this blog entry I now know where the inspiration for the saying “….couldn’t get laid in a whorehouse” comes from.
February 18th, 2007 at 2:36 pm
hey leave PLUTO alone, he is a decent person, and his faith is great, the bible said “touch not my anointed and do my prophet know harm” so dude you need to repent of your rev. pluto joke, also we need all the prayer in the world in hoping that danny boy do not sit on the wrong knee and make a stupid trade. keep sasha, leebon, gibson, every body else can be traded.
February 18th, 2007 at 2:38 pm
hey i do not have cable, can i come over someone house and watch the all star game, i will bring some pepsi and chips
February 18th, 2007 at 3:21 pm
lonely and desparate, are you a chick? and are you hot? Post a pic, and if you qualify I will invite you to my love shack baby. I got mad play and moves that you will not even be able to comprehend.
February 18th, 2007 at 4:25 pm
Hey Alan Tucker, don’t hate the player, hate the game. I am out her in Vegas, took 5th in the 3pt contest, but now I am working the red carpet for NBA TV in my velour jacket while you are sitting at home in your recliner with potatoe chip crumbs all over your shirt watching me on TV. Who is the loser now?
February 18th, 2007 at 4:55 pm
Potatoe? Wow. Dan Quayle reads Windhorst’s blog. Who knew?
February 18th, 2007 at 5:42 pm
Serious question, and not meant to be racist. Why do all the top white NBA players seem to come from foreign countries? Steve Nash (Canada), Nowitski (Germany), etc. Don’t the US have any good white players? Larry Bird was the last that I can remember.
February 18th, 2007 at 6:10 pm
Wayne Newton wears lipstick, sings with a gold microphone, plays a white fiddle, and has a penguin in his backyard.
February 18th, 2007 at 6:12 pm
In the last 11 All-Star games, there have been a grand total of five white American players - - Brad Miller, John Stockton, Tom Gugliotta, Christian Laettner and Wally Szczerbiak.
February 20th, 2007 at 8:21 am
ATuck…. keep it coming strong.
Why do we need white players need to be in the all-star game when we have David Beckham playing soccer in the US now? Seriously….
Oh, and a Britney that shaves her head…..