New podcast
Posted December 21st, 2005 by bwindhorst
Check out my latest podcast with Terry Pluto.
Terry and I discuss Carlos Boozer, why Zydrunas Ilgauskas had never been knocked out before, LeBron James’ minutes, Mike Brown’s job performance, and how I dislike that every conversation and/or e-mail between Thanksgiving and 11:59 p.m. Jan. 1 requires everyone to exclaim "Happy Holidays!" at some juncture.
By the way, here’s the link for my RSS/XML feed file.
Ahem, Happy Holidays.
December 21st, 2005 at 1:34 pm
What is the definition of playing “too many minutes?” It’s total nonsense, Brian. James is what, 21? Unlike the other relative wimp bodies Stan Kellers has embarrassingly constructed (Gilbert should have fired Kellers even before he fired Paxson, or simply kept him part-time to do nothing but work on Ilguaskas’ lower legs), James is a pure natural stallion that can handle repeated marathons, sprints and beatings in the glue factory. Hell, Chris Webber, who everybody thought was completely finished, is himself averaging 40 minutes a game. His tough little teammate plays even more minutes than James. There’s over 20 NBA players within two minutes a game of James. Our old friend Ricky Davis averages more minutes than James, and he’ll play even more minutes in the playoffs. So will the 76ers’ horses. And so will James, notwithstanding “excessive” time on the court now. These are superb athletes getting paid to be superb athletes. Minutes, schminutes.
Much like your outrageous bah-humbug approach to God’s December holidays (or whoever’s or whatever’s up there and/or down there…I, for one, believe we are being existentially controlled by the Ghost of Milton Berle’s Massive Wang), I am sick and tired of apologists pointing to James’ minutes and Ilgauskas’ “surgically repaired feet” as the genesis of any past, present or future team troubles…I mean, let’s be honest here. Ilguaskas and his feet never met Carl Lewis prior to surgery, and Ilgauskas and his feet never met Carl Lewis after surgery. Z is a very tall, very slow white guy. It’s the way his parents made him. Surgery has never had anything to do with his T-Rex plodding nature. O.K., he did came back from foot surgery to ensure he would be able to feed his family. I’ll give him that. Bravo. Duly noted. But let’s keep emotion in check when reviewing this guy’s basketball game. Aside from the foot operations, much like Bernie Kosar, this guy also seems to get free passes simply because he chooses to sign with Cleveland. Which, in 2003, was officially recognized by the U.S. Census Bureau as the poorest big city in the entire country. The Cuyahoga River can’t set itself on fire anymore, and Mayor Perk’s wife can’t turn down anymore White House invitations because it conflicts with her bowling night, but Z can still say he likes Cleveland and thus all is civil peachy.
But getting back to my original point…James’ minutes are not a legitimate issue. That’s the way the NBA game is played and has always been played. I don’t understand how writers like Terry Pluto, who is a very intelligent sports guy and who’s even older than I am, somehow completely forget NBA history when it comes time to analyze the current team. One needs to only go back in time, and I don’t mean to Lenny Wilkens’ questionable coaching career. The game itself hasn’t really changed. Indeed, with some of the wussy zone stuff these days, in some aspects the game has become more body-friendly. Havlicek’s minutes, as a quick example of many hundreds out there, weren’t a purported “issue” when he was chugging 37 minutes a game at the age of 37. James’ excessive turnovers and sometimes poor defense are due to his relative inexperience and a learning curve. It’s not happening because his body is gonna soon fall apart on him like a tenderized holiday ham.
Oh, and before I forget, I want to issue a public challenge to one Mr. Brian Windhorst: If Riley’s mullet is going to be mocked, then on or about January 5, 2006, I want to read a very public mocking of Jeff Van Gundy’s new half-head shave. His front hairline hair plugs he received in his late 20’s had become so conspicuous, that he now has to shave half of his head on a daily basis to make his hair look natural. The first head coach in NBA history required to shave half of his head because his remaining backing hair behind his front grafts had naturally fallen out. But the grafts stayed. A lesson learned for any of you young guys out there debating getting hair transplants. DON’T DO IT. Father Time is totally unapologetic. Just like gaydar, where gay guys can very quickly recognize other gay guys, I have an extremely keen eye for recognizing past and present hair transplant patients. I wish I didn’t, but I do. And by the way, in case anybody is interested, our good friend Dan Gilbert has some hair grafts of his own plugged into his otherwise thick wealthy scalp. Betcha didn’t know that. But that’s for another day.
December 23rd, 2005 at 1:25 pm
Thanks for specifying precisely what is “psychotic” about my prior post. Seemed pretty sane to me, but then again, maybe crazy people don’t know they’re crazy. Regardless, why are you sitting around in the back of the class and shooting spitballs??? I just now reread my post 46 times, and all 46 times, I did not see the words “Bob S” anywhere in there. So how ’bout a comment regarding the referenced Windhorst-Pluto Podcast, or something otherwise remotely intelligent. For example, why can hundreds of immensely talented past NBA players play in the neighborhood of 38 to 40 minutes a game, and yet James’ minutes are supposedly “too many?” Dave Cowens, John Havlicek and Jo Jo White were all playing 40 minutes a night and winning championships without once complaining about their boo-boos. If you’ve got a job playing in the NBA, then by definition, your body is in amazing condition. Occasional guys like Mel Turpin and Oliver Miller notwithstanding. Any media reaction to “excessive” minutes-per-game is fictitious apologist baloney with next to no foundation in NBA history. Particularly when you’re talking about James. His name is LeBron James. LeBron. Last time I looked in the media guide, it wasn’t Rick “Super Freak” James.
With that being said, if you still feel so incredibly compelled to include me in your cerebral online commentary, then maybe Brian will have a Podcast with me regarding my upcoming colonoscopy. It’s scheduled for this Thursday, December 29, 2005. A mere one week before Jeff Van Gundy brings his gleaming half-shaved head into gorgeous Cleveland, Ohio on January 5, 2006. I am looking forward to both events with breathless anticipation.
December 23rd, 2005 at 6:42 pm
Don’t take it personally Alan, I was just kidding around. It isn’t easy to come up with words to go along with Happy Holidays. The main point is to try and keep the posts to a reasonable size… I can’t say I read your post because it is just way too big to waste my time on.
December 23rd, 2005 at 8:57 pm
I am really sorry, but it is simply not possible for me to parrot the silky smooth writing stylings of some by leaping into a professional basketball beat writer’s blog with something really short and articulate like, “WINDHORST, YOU’RE REALLY A BIG BIG DUMMY, I LUV MY ANDY, ANDY IS MY FAVORITE PLAYER, HE DOES NOT DESERVE AN INCOMPLETE YOU STUPID DUMMY, ANDY DESERVES A B+ GRADE EVEN THOUGH HE HASN’T PLAYED A SECOND ALL YEAR, AND ALAN TUCKER HAS COOTIES!”
Technically this is my third post and therefore a violation of the new house rules, but I’ll get around it by saying to my third-favorite Cavaliers beat writer of the past 35 years (slightly behind Bill Nichols and Terry Pluto) the following joyous holiday words: “HAPPY KWANZAA AND ENJOY THE FEDEX PACKAGE CONTAINING MY SWEET HOMEMADE RUM BALLS!!!”
December 23rd, 2005 at 9:41 pm
Alan as much as I sometimes disagree with you I will say your posts are generally well thoughtout and backed up by stats or facts of some sort.
Bron looked a little tired tonight against the pacers I”ll be honest. Shot wise…however… 9 assists makes my previous posts look better eh?
BUt to the post there is no one in the top 10 scoring playing less than 38 minutes. I don’t think 3 a game more is goign to kill lebron.
December 23rd, 2005 at 9:57 pm
Alan, the problem is that you do not have a sufficient outlet. Your comments are a blog post in itself!
So I did you a favor and made you a blog where you can post all your Cavs musings. Link to them on here.
sign in at blogger.com
username: AlanTuckmeister
password: iluvbrian
We’ll come check you out all the time. Have fun!
December 23rd, 2005 at 10:10 pm
Aaron, you’re not posting your e-mail address so I can e-mail you, so I gotta talk to you here. Sorry, Bri. Did somebody really post that, Aaron? That person is a certifiable idiot. In point of fact, rounded off to the next decimal point, six of the current top-10 scorers average at least 40 minutes per game. And the other four are very close to 40. If you really want to have a good time, go back and review the minutes per game from almost all the good and great players of the past 50 years. Look at the minutes played by guys on many of the teams that won championships. You’ll quickly see the James minutes argument is supported by absolutely nothing. Merely a coach cushioning himself from the media, in the event of a losing streak, by pre-selling chunks of spoiled baloney to a captive audience. Apparently right now it’s a buyer’s market.
December 23rd, 2005 at 10:49 pm
Windhorst and Finnan are the best Cavs beat writers but honestly, of all the people who you could stalk, you choose him?
Brian man, this is seriously weird.
Love your blog. The nutcase notwithstanding.
December 24th, 2005 at 12:33 am
i’m officially a fan of mr. tucker.
December 24th, 2005 at 12:48 am
Wow. Travis, I can honestly say I haven’t been this excited since that one night at the old Arena, when I saw the Cavs’ Bobby Lewis throw a fullcourt pass to the Cavs’ John Warren for a wide-open layup…Into Portland’s basket.
December 24th, 2005 at 8:08 pm
Alan I was agreeing with you…. I said although bron looked tired all in all I don’t think it’s going to kill him. No one in the top ten is playing less than 38. Meaning they are all playing more than that. Meaning I was saying you were right…. what am I missing? And I am trying to have my e-mail on here….try clicking my name.