No offense, but, um, no offense
Posted November 27th, 2005 by Brian Windhorst
I visited the Indiana Pacers and Minnesota Timberwolves locker rooms before they played and beat the Cavs last week. Both of them had virtually the exact same scouting report up on the dry-erase board. They read something like this:
"Make them play half court. Slow tempo. Stop the ball. No fast breaks."
There’s no espionage there, these aren’t industry secrets. In the NBA, two things exist in incredible abundance: extreme paranoia and carnal knowledge of sets, plays, trends, and styles. NBA advance scouts work in teams with binoculars, listening devices and pages of play diagrams. By this point in the season, the entire NBA knows the Cavs plays and what they’re called.
Just to give you an example, I’ve seen the LA Clippers advance scout at least four times at Cavs games already. They play twice in four days this week. Before that, I saw the Pacers scout come to two or three straight games.
So here’s my point, the scouts came and watched the Cavs rip teams apart by running and gunning and figured it might be a good idea to keep LeBron James and Larry Hughes out of transition. The Pacers and Timberwolves are also good half court defensive teams, so they were also playing to their strengths. But the league has figured out that when playing the Cavs you need to make them play half court offense. Which is why the Cavs have to figure out how to play better half court offense.
I give my opinion in my Sunday column, which is to take advantage of Zydrunas Ilgauskas. Mike Brown’s reaction is to play better defense. This is sound thinking, because in the playoffs every game is a half court game and the team that plays better defense usually wins. However, this is November and they badly need to get better in the half-court.
They are inserting new plays all the time, but really only a handful seem to work in the half court. As Mike Brown taught me during one of his media practices, the Cavs offense calls for lots of movement if the original play breaks down. Well, they haven’t been doing it recently. In the last two losses, there’s been a lot of LeBron dribbling the ball and everyone else standing around…where have we seen that before.
The Cavs have three days off to work on it, let’s see how they respond. After their last two-game losing skid, they won eight straight.
Now, for my usual dose of The NBA Beat Life:
- I saw Jared from Subway at the Pacers game on Thanksgiving. Apparently all that Subway cash has bought him some sweet seats. Or are those "sweet-and-sour chicken teriyaki" seats? Hardy, har, har.
No seriously — and I realize before I write this that I am opening myself to criticism in the comments section (that means you, Tucker) — I saw Jared get up to go to the concession stand at least three times. And this was on Thanksgiving night! Perhaps those subs are getting a little tiresome.
- I know that some people don’t travel much and perhaps Thanksgiving is the only time of the year many people fly. That’s great, I hope you all had wonderful trip. But, for the love of all things sacred, please, please, please, realize that you have to go through a metal detector more than 15 seconds before it is time to walk through it! Excuse me, sir, did you think it was a good idea to bring seven bucks in change and your comb collection.
Damon Jones loves the new dress code, he always shows up dressed to the nines. The other night he comes into the locker room, last to arrive as is his ritual, decked out. I mumbled to Luke Jackson that all he need was a cane to complete the outfit and LJ33 shouts it at DJ. "These ain’t even pimp clothes," Jones said back. Then he got into a disagreement with Drew Gooden over thread counts.
November 27th, 2005 at 11:34 pm
Hey, now. I have never, not even once, made even a veiled reference to your curvy and quite alluring male model hourglass figure. I take enough undeserved cheapshots at home. Totally uncalled for.
And, in Jared’s defense, much like Mary-Kate Olsen, his three hot fudge brownie sundaes didn’t stay down for more than a few minutes. So what’s the harm? You have savagely libeled a great American hero. Jared Fogle cheating on his Subway diet? I don’t think so.
November 28th, 2005 at 7:41 am
ummm, i guess i’ll risk all here and actually talk about… oh, i dunno…basketball??! i know, i am a radical…
windy, it was very disappointing to see you parrot the ‘ron artest shut down lebron’ bulls*** that the national media was. i watched the game, as i trust you did, and concentrated on LBJ and artest and what i saw was a tough shooting night by LBJ. he had TWO lay-ups spin out, a 8 footer not fall, etc. oh, and if you throw the the ‘contested’ jumpers defense at me, i say to you,’ummm, how come LBJ made his first 2 jump shots of the 2nd half? i mean, artest was contesting them, right??’
artest plays good defense but the cavs screened him off LBJ a lot that night and ‘bron just missed some shots. AND LBJ played pretty damn good defense on artest. hello! 5 steals?? at least 3 picked from artest! and LBJ got 10 rebounds, artest 5. last i checked, rebounds are part of defense.
and my final point is that the cavs shot just as badly at HOME against minn. so, one would logically conclude that they are in a shooting slump! it happens…
November 28th, 2005 at 7:56 am
How is andy doing? it seems like he just dropped out of the picture. You update on other injured players, so why not say anything about him??? I speak of behalf of many wildthing fans who read this website religiously when I request better updates. I agree w/ kj above that your analysis of LBJ vrs. Artest was completely inaccurate. But for real, say something about our favorite Brazilian in wine and gold… its not like he isnt showing up at games or in the locker room or anything, and if hes not doing anything cuz of his shoulder its not like he doesnt have any oppertunity to comment for the media.
November 28th, 2005 at 2:34 pm
KJ, come on. There is no question that Artest outplayed James. And while I’m on the subject of Artest, did he make Gooden look like a defenseless fool on that mad drive and slam, or what?
Besides KJ, I want to know that Jones is debating thread counts with Gooden. Egyption combed cotton with a 600-thread count is where it’s at, man. There’s no real debate there, and there’s no debate that if Jones’ outside shot is missing its mark, then he’s worthless. Despite his faux title, Jones is not a point guard. Jones is a spot shooter. I see Jones on the court, and I see a wild and crazy version of John Paxson and Steve Kerr. With the Cavs’ present roster, that’s not good enough. Unfortunately, when it comes to the frequency and the quality of his penetration, Jones is the complete polar opposite of Paris Hilton. So now the team is stuck with two half-court point guards with cap-clogging long-term contracts. They would have been better off signing Rod Strickland, Kenny Anderson or somebody like that. Plug the leak for a year at the NBA minimum with no long-term commitment. At the very least, both Strickland and Anderson can dribble and drive without having to do a bad impression of Chuck Norris.
And Andyfan, why would I or anybody else rather read about some guy’s mundane shoulder rehab than about Jared cramming bratwurst into his face? THAT is legitimate blog news. Brian knows what the people want, and that’s the revelation that Jared snacks on Polish sausage and Ron Jeremy got frisked by airport security.
November 29th, 2005 at 8:26 am
wow, alan, this is a *truly* spirited defense: “KJ, come on. There is no question that Artest outplayed James.”
wow, your use of logical thought AND your amazing debating skills are too much for me, sir! i will shrink back into my hole where i actually *watch* basketball games and come to my own conclusions based on observation and facts, not what ESPN says, for example. never again shall i darken your doorstep with my inconvenient little facts…feel free to resume your delusions and wallow in your ignorance…
November 29th, 2005 at 9:05 am
Sorry I allowed my eyeballs and my common sense to be my judge, KJ. By how do you feel about Egyptian combed cotton? High thread counts RULE.
November 29th, 2005 at 2:26 pm
well, as franklin once said, ‘common sense is frequently neither’ and in your case, that is surely true…
btw, ben had a wicked jump shot from 20 ft. in…franklin, i mean. not poquette…
November 30th, 2005 at 8:43 am
Alan tucker…
you give off the impression that you are an ARROGENT KNOW IT ALL!!! Some of us WOULD like to hear about the ‘mundane’ recovery of Andy Varejao becase HE IS A FAN FAVORITE!!! It strikes me as unfair that one could mention Damon jones, ira newble, etc regualrly but leave out the other people who are also on the IL!!! Its not like he just dropped of the face of teh earth! the guy still exists! which means that hes probably not just sitting around in his loft apartment over Brasa, but maybe working out and trying 2 get back to the team!! Im curious as to when hes gonna be back and how things are looking so far!!
and for the record, nobody gives a damn about Jared the subway guy, and no i dont find it to be legitimate or WORTHY of a blog.
Brian OBVIOUSLY doesnt know what the people want or their would have been soem mention of andy varejao on this blog other than a report of how he and justin guarani are remarkably similar and what he ate from the media buffet!!!
November 30th, 2005 at 8:44 am
Alan tucker…
you give off the impression that you are an ARROGENT KNOW IT ALL!!! Some of us WOULD like to hear about the ‘mundane’ recovery of Andy Varejao becase HE IS A FAN FAVORITE!!! It strikes me as unfair that one could mention Damon jones, ira newble, etc regualrly but leave out the other people who are also on the IL!!! Its not like he just dropped of the face of teh earth! the guy still exists! which means that hes probably not just sitting around in his loft apartment over Brasa, but maybe working out and trying 2 get back to the team!! Im curious as to when hes gonna be back and how things are looking so far!!
and for the record, nobody gives a damn about Jared the subway guy, and no i dont find it to be legitimate or WORTHY of a blog.
Brian OBVIOUSLY doesnt know what the people want or their would have been soem mention of andy varejao on this blog other than a report of how he and justin guarani are remarkably similar and what he ate from the media buffet!!!
November 30th, 2005 at 9:03 am
As a memeber of THE Luke Jackson 5, the greatest up and coming fan group in the world, I always enjoy any commentary you can provide about Luke. Thanks for the quick name drop of #33 in this post. I also think that doing a story on THE Luke Jackson 5 would possibly be a highlight of your career. Just think about that one.
November 30th, 2005 at 10:42 am
Andyfan, I have a strong sense that if Jared and Brian grow their hair into a Sideshow Bob ‘do and flip somersaults over their pieces of fresh-baked bread, you’d quickly get over whatever is causing you to be all hot and bothered. Hey, Luke Witte was a “fan favorite,” too, but frankly, I couldn’t care less what he was up to then, and I couldn’t care less what he is up to now. Besides, in my own very humble opinion, Andy V. will never be any more than Scot Pollard was in his prime during his time with the Kings. A guy who’s funny looking, a genuine offbeat personality and an energy player with occasional games of very good statistics that really help the team. But do I really care what color Scot paints his toenails on Tuesdays?
I’m guessing you weren’t alive during the original Luke days when we used to go “Luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuke” to try to persuade Fitch to shoehorn Witte from his comfy seat on the bench. Never fear, your own fan favorite with the goofball long flowing locks and his high-stepping sprint will be back doing his “thang” come Springtime.
You want your Andy “update?” O.K…At this very moment, Andy is massaging his rear delt with Ultra Strength BenGay. There’s your update. Happy to help. But in the meantime, the Brian Blog Bozo Battalion (with numbers dwarfing those in the 70’s KISS Army) DEMANDS their Jared fix. If you think we have any intent of going cold turkey without pumping our veins full of Jared, you’re absolutely crazy. Brian panders to the people, and I’m very thankful for that.
December 1st, 2005 at 11:07 am
Hey, Brian, heard your latest Podcast with Terry. Stick with Terry in the future, permanently forget about Reghi.
But I gotta say, Terry’s memory is getting a little foggy. Which is O.K., since my brain cells have fallen out with each hair, too. I know the feeling, as I’m getting pretty close to dementia myself. But for some reason, anything Cavs-related permanently stick to my intestines like the 45-year-old remnants of my mother’s awful cooking. The 1984-1985 Cavs team that played the Celtics…Well, while the Celtics were indeed very good that season, contrary to what Terry remembers, the Celtics didn’t win the title that season. The Lakers did. But he’s right, the latter part of that season was pretty fun.
And as far as World B. Free having his number retired…Well, I guess there’s no harm done. He was the only guy worth any entertainment value for the season tickets. I remember how embarrassing it was the first year the Cavs retired numbers, none of whom should have been retired in the first place. And on top of that, somebody had the really bright idea to paint gargantuan numbers of Bobby Smith, Austin Carr and Nate Thurmond on the side of the court itself. Oy vey. Smith was an average player, Carr at long last was finally starting to pan out and then promptly hurt his knee and was never the same, and Thurmond was with the team about three minutes at the very end of his career. Opposing teams were getting belly laughs by merely glancing at that ridiculous paint job.
But getting back to my main point, bench Reghi. Remove him from your Podcast rotation on a permanent basis. Better yet, pretend he’s Jeff McInnis. I think you can relate to that. Make Terry Pluto your Podcast World B. Free. Bald is beautiful, baby.
December 1st, 2005 at 6:37 pm
Ah, Alan, you should know as a life-long Cavaliers fan, why those three of Austin, Bingo, & Nate Thurmond were chosen. Austin was the first ever high choice from the Cavaliers, Bingo was the fan favorite, & Nate took a bunch of rag-tag overachievers and about led them to an NBA championship. I think those 3 are good choices.
The guy nobody mentions in my eyes is Mike Mitchell. For a few years, Mitchell was the Cavaliers like Free was the Cavaliers. 1979-1982 wasn’t pretty around here. (Stan Albeck aside) I think Mitchell should be the next guy they look for. Even though Mitchell was only here 3 1/2 years, I give him flexiblity due to the “Ted Stepien Experience”.
What would be REALLY interesting would be the Cavs Hall of Fame (traded edition). You know, the Charles Oakleys, Bill Lambieers, etc.
Hey Windhorst, what about you and Tait on the Podcast? That would be a hoot.
The day Joe Tait retires from Cleveland will be a sad day. I hope he writes a book. 15 chapters would be Bill Fitch stories.
December 1st, 2005 at 6:40 pm
BTW - I think Luke Witte’s a minister in the Charlotte area. I thought he was the Bobcats chaplain (I think) The picture of him in an Ohio State jersey slumped over while a Minnesota player goes haywire on him is one of the most grotesque pictures in modern sports history.
December 1st, 2005 at 9:24 pm
I know why they were “chosen,” Heath. But it was downright silly. They were compelled to “retire” numbers because every other franchise had retired numbers, too. Everybody except Cleveland. Portland and Buffalo, their two expansion franchise sisters, retired the numbers of legitimate players that deserved to have their numbers retired. But the Cavs? Let’s put it this way: Carr made it to one all-star game because it used to be a league rule that at least one player from every franchise had to be represented. That’s how good ‘ol Butch Beard made it, too.
But what was exponentially worse is somebody in Cavs management took the additional ridiculous step to PAINT THE NUMBERS ON THE COURT. I mean, not even Wilt Chamberlain ever got his name painted on any court. But some guy with a big fluffy afro named “Bingo?” Sure, why not? To further compound the lunacy, their current team on the court was just awful, and you could almost hear the Richfield crickets chirping with the 3,000 people in the seats. Put it all together, and you had yet another Cleveland joke. They might as well have set another river on fire. Finally, after one full season of guffaws from people around the league, somebody must have said something to somebody who had lots of Glidden heavy-duty paint remover, because they erased the numbers.
Jeez, compared to those three guys, it shouldn’t even be a question if World B. Free should have his number retired.
And Tait will be gone after next year. Gilbert will see to that, and will install another Ronnie Duncan/Michael Reghi well-rehearsed screaming shill. I wouldn’t be surprised if they also change to two radio shills, a play-by-play man accompanied by a color guy. At least Gilbert is wise enough to know if he didn’t re-up Tait after the savage beating he had already absorbed in the media, somebody would have killed him. Literally. This way, it will look like Tait voluntarily retired, and he’ll at least be able to go out with a sense of grace. They should bronze Tait’s microphone and hang it from the rafters next to a big bronze bust of Free’s balding head.
December 1st, 2005 at 10:11 pm
I just reread what I wrote…Didn’t come out exactly right, obviously the expansion Buffalo had already escaped to San Diego by the time Cavs numbers were getting retired.
And I agree they might as well give Mike Mitchell his due, too. And I think there should also be a big halfcourt painting of Leon Spinks grinning at Edgar Jones. A total of three teeth between the two of them. Tributes to them all.
But getting more to the blog point, I want more Windhorst Podcasts with guys worth talking to like Terry Pluto. Kick Reghi to the curb. And if there is one or more Podcasts with Joe Tait, then there should also be an intense Podcast interrogation regarding Tait’s 1975 live 10-minute halftime interview with some goofball teen boob named Alan Tucker. I mean, why did Tait do it? Was Tait liquored up when he agreed to make that kid his halftime guest, or what? I want answers!