So, you're sick of being a Browns fan. You watch the team not live up to expectations. Sitting in the snow sucks. Reading about how players quit on the team is a drag.
Because you're a paying fan, you let your voice be heard (albeit mostly anonymously). Phil Savage should be fired. Romeo Crennel should be replaced by Bill Cowher. Brady Quinn should start. Brady Quinn shouldn't start! Randy Lerner should sell the team. Braylon Edwards should be cut! Jerome Harrison and Alex Hall should play more! The team should be sold.
Well, forget all that noise. Just find a new team. People find new spouses all the time, so what's the big deal about finding a new team? Come on, follow along, it's easy to do!
- Step 1: Maintaining some loyalty – You may be turning your back on the Browns, but not so much so that you can root for the Steelers, Bengals or Ravens. Fair enough.
- Step 2: No losers – You're a Browns fan. What is the point of cheering for a team worse than them? Gone are the Chiefs, Lions, Raiders and Rams.
- Step 3: No one likes a frontrunner – It's easy to root for a perennial winner. It's also easy to hate the fans of such teams. Adios, Colts, Patriots, Eagles and Giants. The Cowboys also go here. America's team or whatever.
- Step 4: No West Coasters – What's the point of rooting for a team you can't watch? Say goodbye, 49ers, Seahawks and Chargers.
- Step 5: Flashes in the pan might just be worse than the Browns in a season – Sure, they're fun to watch, but some of these teams could go up in flames at any moment. No one likes that, so eliminated are the Titans, Cardinals, Jets and Falcons.
- Step 6: Just because – You're a Cleveland sports fan. You're expected to be fickle. The Drive still happened, the Broncos are out. Jon Gruden looks like murderous doll Chucky, the Buccaneers are out. You thought Lerner was bad? How about Dan Snyder as the owner? Redskins: Out. What the hell even is a Packer? Out.
Now, just a quick recap. This all leaves us with the Bears, Vikings, Texans, Jaguars, Panthers, Saints, Bills and Dolphins.
- Step 7: Too far to drive – The above teams are randomly on TV, so being able to drive to games would be nice. Good riddance Saints, Jaguars, Panthers, Vikings and Dolphins.
- Step 8: No politics allowed – What do you think when someone says Texas? George W. Bush? Get outta here Texans. Chicago? Obama? Sorry, Bears. I thought you were a real contender.
Now, wait just a second here. Look who is left. It's the Buffalo Bills. If you're so sick of how the Cleveland Browns perform on the field and in the front office, just who will you be rooting for Monday night?
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
This is just a ploy to for Dan to root on Money Lynch…
Rooting for Buffalo? Geeze Dan, talk about a city that has it just as bad if not worse than Cleveland. Losing four straight Super Bowls? Don't give me that "Well at least they made it the big game," routine, they still lost four times. In a row.
Buffalo did support the city of Cleveland mightily when the Browns left, but geeze talk about pain.
While I do root for my homie Lynch, I came up with the idea for the post before the last game because everyone just complains and complains about the Browns. Magically, Buffalo ended up being the team left after some creative elimination.
And I'll gladly take losing four straight Super Bowls. That not only means our team would have made it to the playoffs four years in a row, but won at least a playoff game four years in a row. The thought of that as a Browns fan is mind boggling.
sorry bud. the titans are no flash in the pan. they were a playoff team last year. remember how fisher kept the team competitive in houston even though the fans and the players knew they were leaving? the browns flat out quit in 1995 when modell conspired with lerner to move the team. if i weren't brainwashed by losing football, bad ownership and an endless string of terrible coaches i would root for the titans. coach fisher almost always has a competitive team on the field that doesn't embarass itself.
Dan Kaydare,
How can you eliminate the Packers, just because you don't know what a Packer is? In fact, YOU DO know what a Packer is. Don't you?
(I just thought you might like to enjoy the type of comments that I get. p.s. Respond to my e-mail.)
Being a Browns fan in Steeler country for 40 years has been well, BAD! How can the Steelers year after year after year play tough " I'll show you" football? It amazes me that they can bring in no names and STILL do the job that overpaid professionals should be able to do! I believe that shit rolls downhill and problems start at the top!!!