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The Spurs beat the Cavs on their home court and Frenchman Tony Parker won the MVP award and Eva Longoria.

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Senate Bill 16 in the Ohio legislature would require 6 feet of space between customers and topless dancers.

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The Indians moved their home games to Milwaukee due to heavy snow in Cleveland.

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A Cleveland Clinic doctor induced a brain aneurysm in a dog for a medical sales demo.  The presentation was fatal to man's best friend. 

In addition to medicine shows, the highly self-regarded institution treats Cleveland Browns players, also known as "Dawgs" around here. The team is suffering a staph infection epidemic.

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I've been silent on the blog for most of November.  I thought I'd let the cartoons speak for themselves.  Mostly, I just didn't have much to say. 

But now I do.  Cleveland Browns receiver Braylon Edwards has inspired me to speak out.  Athletes need nicknames so I'll call him Bray.

During the month of November Bray has had plenty to say.  He criticized his own teammate for tackling an opponent too hard. He complained about the new offensive co-coordinator's play calling (he's new because Bray's criticism helped get the previous co-coordinator fired).  And last Sunday Bray had to be pulled off his own quarterback. Apparently he only favors tackling his players. 

He says he's trying to make up for the passion the team lacks.  He has a point. The Browns lost 30-0.  But catching the ball might be more helpful.

Since Bray is only trying to help I went trolling for advice.  Will Rogers recommended that he  Never miss a good chance to shut up.  Abraham Lincoln took time to say, Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.  And finally, Xenocrates advised, "I have often regretted my speech, never my silence."

Bray's amiable coach, Romeo Crennel, must hang around the same famous quote sites as me because he's been quiet.  Romeo must have missed the choice words Niccolo Machiavelli had for him,  "It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both."

 

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Akron water and sewer bills have soared.  Meanwhile, the Zoo and Soapbox Derby get the smelly stuff for free. 

Akron Thermal is the monopoly supplier of steam heat downtown.  Being an energy kingpin isn't what it used to be.  The company is $5 million behind on its water bill.

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Summit County, where I live, has a new Animal Control director.  Her  name is Christine Congrove.  She makes $63,500 a year.  She is 23 years old and a college dropout.  Bill Gates dropped out of college too.  It pays to drop out of college.  Both of them make more than their teachers.

Bill Gate's father is a lawyer and co-chairman of Bill's foundation.  Christine Congrove's father is a Summit County Councilman.  Family values are important.

Like Akron's Lebron James, Christine Congrove is advanced beyond her years.  Lebron can shoot from anywhere.  Christine is licensed to carry firearms.  In an interview with Katie Byard in the Beacon Journal she said, "I'm law enforcement, a peace officer.  This is a law enforcement agency.  So I feel I that I am qualified for this job.  Also, euthanasia training… I'm a certified euthanasia technician."

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A local clinic, Perkins Square Health Clinic, complained that the smoking ban will ruin its bingo operation.

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The new Summit County Smoking Ban creates an unfair competitive advantage by leaving some businesses exempt.