Rick Santelli (CNBC)….the "average American" millionaire teevee talker who launched a thousand protest parties with a single rant,….never fully appreciated the comedic value he was adding to America's discourse when he lashed out against President Obama so crazily that fateful day…..the day the mighty 'grassroots' shot was heard 'round the world.
I'm here to tell ya'….I appreciate the comedic value. Very much.
To show my appreciation,…..
The FBI is warning that there is a dangerous collateral threat to the nation created by all the "We Don't Like Obama" protest tea parties scheduled for Wednesday in dozens of cities across the country. The warnings, as reported upon every minute but, naturally, not promoted by Fox News, have been attributed to an anticipated high national demand tomorrow for Waaambulances.
Experts have noticed that as gun sales have increased since November last, so too, the demand for Waaambulances. Those who work as first responders have reported a steep increase in the number of Wah-Wah emergency, 911 calls beginning about the same time Barack Obama was elected president. Wah-Wah emergency industry captains, thus far, deny that there is any connection between the election of America's first Muslim-socialist-appeaser as president….and an exponential increase in actual 911 Wah-Wah calls. Others disagree, suggesting that the unionized Wah-Wah emergency captains are known to have a strong socialist-communist bias.
Whatever the cause….. now the threat has apparently become so dire that Homeland Security's Janet Napolitano, fearing the country may eclipse disastrous Peak-Whine levels, has raised the national Waaambulance alert level to fire-engine red…High Whine. Anticipating a crippling shortage of Waaambulances on Wednesday, Napolitano has instructed all cities not hosting a Party to send all available emergency-whine personnel and moan-resuscitation equipment, along with their spare Waaambulances, to scheduled Tea Party locations.
All first-Wah-Wah-responders are standing to the ready awaiting the initial chorus of dangerously loud whines expected to rise over the cities hosting the parties. Even non-tea party attendees are being warned that they too may be in danger.
Seismologists, working closely with Miracle-Ear professionals, have predicted that in some cases the collective-whine decibel levels could be so high that they may cause irrepairable hearing damage…..leaving some, even miles away from the parties, with a permanent buzzing-whine noise in their ears. A buzzing-whine noise described by these professionals as being akin to a gaggle of teenagers moaning and bitching about not getting the car keys.
Other unnamed sources believe that the potential threat is greater than first predicted, what with Fox News screecher-anchor people announcing that their whiny voices will now be added to the cacophony of complaining. These sources are instructing anyone within a 40 mile radius of Ground Zero Tea Party (GZTP), to wear Tevlar reinforced head-phones to minimize any unintended collateral damage.
Lesser known unnamed sources have concluded that concerned and fearful citizens should apply visqueen plastic sheathing and duct tape to their windows before Wednesday to help prevent whiny-oscillation-sound-wave breakage. Other reports, from unnamed experts whom no one even knows, are calling on citizens to go down into their basements or stand under an archway during Peak-Whine hours tomorrow.
And it's not just the imminent shortage of Waaambulances that's of great concern to the First-Whine response industry. Big Box drug store auditors are alarmed at the way Smelling Salts products have been flying off the shelves recently, as well as Hand-Wringing skin-protection products.
There's even been reports, unconfirmed as of this blog posting, pointing out that retail inventories of hemorrhoid medication are reaching dangerously low levels. The results of an unscientific drugstore exit-poll, have mysteriously "leaked out", as it were. Those conclusions suggest a recent, and rare, outbreak of the highly contagious, "Sore-Ass Loser Syndrome" (SALS), for which there is no known cure.
Participating Tea Party towns have been instructed to have Election-Grief Counselors standing by at local high school gymnasiums to provide needed shoulders to cry on and requisite fainting couchs. A unique tea-bag blend is being provided to these makeshift whine-shelters to help calm the frayed nerves of any Party Participants seen to be suffering from Peak-Whine Breakdown.
In these trying times, when the nation is at war, with itself, it will take vigilance and perserverance by all Americans if we are to emerge from this imminent threat as a stronger and less whiny nation.
Will America survive this threat? Or will Sore-Ass Loser Syndrome sweep the nation like a plague of ass-knawing locusts turning us all into defenseless Whiny-Ass Titty Babies (WATB)?
We'll know the answer Thursday morning.
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
Ironically any Con that complains, is just proving your point.
Pretty ironical, fellows.
He's just being a "centrist" just like his fearless leader.
If only we could get rid of that irritating Bill of Rights.
Interesting that you should bring up the Bill of Rights.
Arch-conservative and severely-bitter Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas recently stated that he wasn't really, you know, down…on all those rights, saying….
'Today there is much focus on our rights,' Justice Thomas said. 'Indeed, I think there is a proliferation of rights. I am often surprised by the virtual nobility that seems to be accorded those with grievances,' he said. 'Shouldn't there at least be equal time for our Bill of Obligations and our Bill of Responsibilities?'
Thomas, unlike anything that Obama has said, mocks our Bill of Rights and any emphasis placed on preserving those rights by using phrases like, "proliferation of rights". You know, rights are like nuclear weapons. Gotta' watch out if those rights are being "proliferated".
So, yeah…..it's Obama and his Bill of Rights challenging minions who want to eliminate the Bill of Rights.
The irony is thick enough to cut with an electric knife.
Well well Rev,
"severly-bitter" please explain why the Justice is "severly-bitter" or is this just another example of liberals lying about the opposition. Because if I said that Obama is "severly-bitter" but didn't back it up you would say I'm being partisan.
Why didn't you include the rest of the quote from Justice Thomas?
“It seems that many have come to think that each of us is owed prosperity and a certain standard of living. They’re owed air-conditioning, cars, telephones, televisions."
Because then it wouldn't fit your fake storyline. He says nothing about getting rid of rights. He is not comparing them to nuclear proliferation. He is talking about people having obligations to the country.
You are correct that this is not something Omaba would have ever said. Its more like President Kennedy when he said, "Ask not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country."
You are lying about him wanting to get rid of the bill of rights. But when have you let the facts get the way of one of your lies.
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/14/us/14bar.html?ref=global-home
Roy, of course Obama would never have said that. He believes everyone is entitled to a certain standard of living without having to actually work for it. Why go to school and get good grades when the government will just redistibute your income to those disrupt the class, if they even show up?
Good one on Thomas, Reverend. Without the fibbing and dishonest arguments you just wouldn't be you.
I can't believe I mispelled "severely" so may times. That was inexcusable.
When I used the words "severely bitter" to describe Thomas….it was my opinion after having read and listened to ole' Clarence.
He's simply a bitter man addicted to porn. Now, the porn I don't care about, but his bitterness bleeds through his every page on the Court. He feels guilty about himself, having been selected, in his mind, to the Court because he's an affirmative-action black man. Now, he spreads that bitter guilt throughout any Court case that even smells like some small person is getting something out of it.
The reason I even mentioned Thomas is because he just spoke out in an address to a college. And he answered a question about the Bill of Rights.
Thomas and Scalia have problems with a right to privacy. Scalia says outright that Americans are not guaranteed that right.
Thomas's comment about entitlement mentality is just more of his bitterness towards those less fortunate or vulnerable. He's black, blacks are the people of welfare and affirmative action entitlements, he's a living example…..and that's why he hates welfare and entitlements. You figure it out. He's a messed up guy.
His argument that Americans think they're entitled to prosperity is just pure bunk.
And Roy….the spelling stuff happens, no matter how careful a person tries to be. No worries.
Furthermore….from the NY Times piece Roy linked to….
"he admitted to an uneasy relationship with the whole idea of rights."
Why in the hell would a Supreme Court Justice be "uneasy" with the "Whole idea of rights?"
"Today there is much focus on our rights,' Justice Thomas said. 'Indeed, I think there is a proliferation of rights. I am often surprised by the virtual nobility that seems to be accorded those with grievances,' he said. 'Shouldn't there at least be equal time for our Bill of Obligations and our Bill of Responsibilities?'"
Good one Rev, Thanks for giving us the whole story and the whole quote. Even most libs would agree with what he said. Typical lib reporting and twists and distortions of the truth.
There were quite a few people at the tax rally today. No signs that said hang Obama or Obama is a criminal. Not as many showed as would a war protest or a million man march or PETA rally. I wish more could have shown up but alas most conservatives have real jobs and don't work for groups like ACORN to fight for the leaches.
Good speakers, no urine or feces throwing like the libs. No burning or turning over cars, just a good old fashioned protest to get out the word. Also none of the speakers that I heard said anything disrespectful of pres Obama but spoke of our whole govt. I'm sure the libs will find a way to twist it up more than they have already.
Looks like you got slapped down pretty hard on this one, Rev. I don't have to add anything further. Thanks fellas.
Excuse me..what?